Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Memories of Gus

Maddie's pet goldfish went to goldfish heaven yesterday. It seems he died from eating too much food. Someone and I'm not naming names allowed a two year old to feed Gus. Here's the emails that went back and forth in my family yesterday. Yes, I actually know these crazy people. And by the way I will miss Gus, I said good morning to him every morning(for a week) when I came downstairs for the day.


ORIGINAL EMAIL FROM MELISSA(MADDIE'S MOM)



R.I.P. Gus the Goldfish S**** 8/18/08 - 8/26/0 Cause of death: too much food . Time of death: mid morning (he was alive at breakfast) :( Very sad. buttons has no clue - she just points & giggles at his dead fish body in the bowl.




REPLY FROM PAPA



There will be a viewing this Thursday 8/28/08 from8:30pm-8:40pm In place of flowers Buttons(Maddie) has asked friends and well wishers to send new goldfish in big orange colored boxed to 818 Goldfish Lane. Cincinnati, Ohio Attn. Maddie "Buttons" S**** Burial service to immediately follow behind the swimming pool Anyone wishing to share stories and reflection of fun times and memories is encouraged to do so. Papa



REPLY FROM MADDIE'S DAD



I'll never forget him....it was the best 9 days of my life. At this rate, to have a pet fish for Maddie now through her teen years it will cost over $500 (double this amount if we get two fish-one for Sydney). This does not include fish food, water, fish toys, etc.... 365 days / 9 days (life span) x $0.79 (cost of fish) x 16 years= $512.80 So a donation fund will be set up in his honor. Part of the funds will go towards replacement fish while a big portion will be used in the worldwide fight against overfeeding. (did I mention Maddie's Dad is an accountant).



And finally



FROM AUNT CHRISTINA


Office of the C*****-C**** County Coroner Date and hour of autopsy performed: 8/26/2008; 2:40PM by Christina C******, M.D. 818 Goldfish Lane .Cincinnati, OH 555.555.5555 SUMMARY REPORT OF AUTOPSY:Name: Gus S***** Coroner Case: #1Date of Birth: 8/18/2008 Age: 9 days Race: Goldfish Sex: Male Date of Death: 8/26/08 Body Identified by: Madison S****EVIDENCE OF TREATMENT:N/A EXTERNAL EXAMINATION:The autopsy begun at 2:40PM on August 26, 2008. The body is presented in a small clear bowl. The victim was not wearing any clothing or jewelry at time of death. The body is that of a normally developed 9 day old male goldfish measuring 1.5 inches in length and weighing 3grams, and appearing generally consistent with the stated 9 days of age. The body is cold in temperature and unembalmed. Lividity is present in the distal portions bilaterally on gills. The irises are black and corneas are cloudy. Pupils measure .01cm. The gills are white and bright orange. Upon removal of the fish from the bowl a presence of an unidentifiable smell was detected. There is an orange marking noted at the victims neck, crossing the anterior midline of the neck just below the laryngeal prominence. The top gill is orange with two orange spots present on the dorsal side of the tail. Gills are equal, symmetrically developed and show no evidence of injury. There are no residual scars, markings, or tattoos. INTERNAL EXAMINATION:HEAD-CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM: Subsequent autopsy shows all areas of system to have been in good general health just prior to time of death. No hemorrhaging internally. Brain weighs .001gm and is within normal limits.RESPIRATORY SYSTEM: The oral cavity shows no lesions. Petechial hemorrhaging is present at the mucosa of the lips and the interior of the mouth. The airway is obstructed by excessive amounts of fish food. It appears that the victim was fed to death and died of hypoxia. The mucosa of the epiglottis, trachea, and major bronchi present with the same symptoms. Lesions in the trachea are noted, 3 in count measuring .002cm in diameter and .0001cm in width.CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM: The heart weighs .002grams, and has a normal size and configuration. No evidence of atherosclerosis is present.TOXICOLOGY: Sample of right pleural blood and bile are submitted for toxicological analysis. Stomach contents are saved.DRUG SCREEN RESULTS: Urine sample: NEGATIVE Hallucinogens: POSITIVE Barbiturates: NEGATIVE OPINION: TIME OF DEATH: Body temperature, rigor and liver mortis, and stomach contents approximate time of death to be between 9:45am-10:30am on August 26, 2008. IMMEDIATE CAUSE OF DEATH: Asphyxia/hypoxia due to excessive feeding and negligence of care. MANNER OF DEATH: Homicide REMARKS: Decedent originally presented to this office as suicide victim. Autopsy findings and discoveries suggests that suicide in this case is highly improbable. C-S county detectives were notified of this case and it's findings immediately upon conclusion of examination.Christina C*****, M.D.





Yes that's my family. Gotta love their wacky sense of humor!




15 comments:

Sally said...

I'm so sorry to hear of the demise of your beloved Gus, so I extend my sympathies to all especially Maddie who, it appears, unknowingly just loved her little Gus to death.

Hopefully, with the outpouring of love from Gus's family, this occasion won't be quite as traumatic for Maddie as the time my own, sweet, little girl many years ago lost her fish to the same cause. Her mother was not nearly as sympathetic, and flushed it. The mother has never heard the end of it until this day, 40 years later. :)

June said...

I laughed so hard at those emails yesterday and am laughing again today!! Too funny!!! I don't think I will trust Maddie to take care of Coco for awhile - ha, ha! Poor Gus, we just met him on Monday and now he is gone.

Brenda said...

Oh Poor Gus! Your family has my sympathy, and my howling laughter at the email exchange between grieving family members.

When my daughter was 2, she stabbed her gold fish with a drinking straw. Overfeeding seems like it would be less painful. :-)

justabeachkat said...

Poor Gus! What a way to go though. Can you imagine...just eating chocolate until you died! Sounds like a heavenly way to go. LOL

My goldfish Nemo sends his love in your time of grief. Me too.

Hugs!
Kat

Donna said...

presented as suicide??HAahahaaaa..I'm sorry.....Poor Maddie....I hope this does not affect her to much!! I hope a new one has safely been installed by now, With instructions to All Adults inclosed....hahaha....my sympathies to the family....hughugs

~Red Tin Heart~ said...

Sorry to hear that Gus went to Fish Heaven.
But your family is funny. LoL
xoxo Nita

judy said...

Poor Gus! At least it wasn't Cleo that got him!

Judy

Donna said...

Poor Gus! But what a way to go - by overeating! There are much worse ways to end it all!

ROFL, I loved the e-mails! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

(Please don't tell Miss Maddie that I am laughing!)

Jeanne said...

I'm reminded of the Cosby Show episode when Rudy's pet goldfish died and Cliff has the funeral for him in the bathroom. 'snicker'..sorry..hehe
RYC: I was reading "Breakfast with Tiffany". Good book and I finished it tonight. On to another...

Lille meg said...

Poor litle Gus! I know it is bad to loose even an animal. I never had a goldfish, but we had cats several times. Two of them died because they jumpet into the road, and a car came. The drivers couldn't avoid it.
Little Gus died because he ate too much. Poor little thing!
And poor Maddie too, I know she miss him.
"The goldfish heaven"! How sweet!
Have a nice day, in spite of Gus' death!

Christine of Epiphany said...

Hahahahaha!

photowannabe said...

Too funny but my sincere condolences to the family....hope "Buttons" will understand someday....(:}}

Cindra said...

I went from sad, to chuckling, to slightly grossed out by the autopsy report (weak stomach). What a hoot your family is.

Sandi McBride said...

Poor little thing...but what a fun family...not crazy, fun...this child is going to be President one day, I feel it in the bone that doesn't hurt...
I've an award for you at my place...come by and get your "tea"
hugs
Sandi

PAINT MINE PINK said...

ohmygosh is it wrong that im laughing so much i almost wet myself????
Oh thats too funny!

Oh but poor Maddie, she is such a darlin. I hope you kept those emails to show her when she's older!

Oh dear, R.I.P Gus...you were a good friend.


Gotta luv your family Joan!!

XX
Shann